Throwing caution to the wind.
I’m done. Everything will be different. I honestly can’t sit here and believe I was put on this planet to work and pay bills. To start a family, to have a marriage, to play house. I just can’t accept it. Fuck that, I won’t accept it.
I don’t have the financial backbone to just fly to any country and find myself. I can eventually get to that point under my terms. But until then, I can start living without a map. Whether that be eating foods I never would before, taking a change of route home, saying yes instead of no, or whatever. Anything out of my norm. I can’t sit here and waste all of my days being a worker bee. Or wondering how i’m going to fit my octagon life into a fucking triangle. I don’t want to regret getting into my late ages about anything I could have possibly done right now. Any thought I have, any dream or ambition, i’m going to chase it. I’m going to hunt that motherfucker down and try my ass off. And even if I land straight on my ass, fail, or cry, or become broke, i’m hunting it. Because this, this routine I’ve built around myself with electric fences, needs to be down. It needs to be destroyed.
I can’t be comfortable. I can’t settle for being safe or normal. I want to be scared, I want to take risks, I want to eat amazing food that will probably make me 20lbs heavier. Fall in love, get my heart broken. Be the daredevil I know I can be. Shit, I know that I am. So just because I can’t afford my need to intoxicate myself with culture shock, doesn’t mean that it should put my wants for change in purgatory. I’m going to be taking leaps to change before I can get that plane ticket. Because tree’s can’t touch the sky when their rooted. And i’m not the only one fucking tired of this goddamn ground.